


Tea and sympathy

by LadyRachael



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh (Avatar) loves Tea, Protective Iroh (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Tea, Uzumaki Naruto Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27830686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRachael/pseuds/LadyRachael
Summary: It's usually a bar, or a tavern. Sometimes it's a restaurant or a cantina. A bit too run down, unobtrusive, not always there. There's a reason for that. Drunks tend not to notice anything too strange, or write it off if they do. Unfortunately, even child heroes have a bad day sometimes, and even they deserve a cup of comfort.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Tea and sympathy

**Author's Note:**

> We have a lot of food based arguments over on the Sniper's Discord server. There was a 20 minute scuffle about tea the other day, in definitely the wrong channel. I was thinking about it, which led to me thinking about the mysterious pub trope, the restaurant at the end of the universe, and that child protagonists are definitely too young to drink but still deserve some bartender therapy. 
> 
> Behold, the wandering tea shop, in the best tradition of interdimensional commerce.

Iroh woke that morning knowing something had changed. There was new, serious competition to his little shop. This could not be borne. He looked over, his nephew was still sleeping and it wasn't time yet for him to wake. Well enough, he would find these new competitors and have a few words with them, in the interest of harmonious business relationships.

He was one of the first customers to step in the door that day. Iroh looked around, clean shop, clean tables, but the feng shui wasn't so much bad as somehow missing. He sat at a table, running his hand across the wood, which wasn't. The appearance was fine. He surreptitiously lifted it in one hand, hollow. He let his hidden hand heat by degrees until the substance started to melt, not wood or stone, curious. 

The server appeared at his elbow and he smiled at them, non descript as they were. "Jasmine, please," he requested, and the server placed down a cup and poured from one of the identical teapots on their tray. 

Iroh raised it to his lips, nice bouquet, and sipped. The tea was technically perfect, but soulless. Suitable only for people who drink tea because otherwise they would only have water. He placed the cup down. The server had disappeared while he was distracted. 

"This is terrible," he muttered. 

Another customer at a table looked over, "What are you talking about? This tea is fine." She looked closer, "Oh, it's you! Jasmine Dragon, right? Yeah, okay, your tea is better, but this shop just opened a few days ago and they start a few hours earlier. I just have to have some tea before I open my own shop for the day. It's fine, and I can still go to yours at the end of the day for a really good cup."

The server had appeared just out of their line of sight while they were talking, drawing their attention by starting to sniffle. "This keeps happening! I'm following all the instructions I was given but something is always missing. People come in and they need advice and words of wisdom and what do I know? I'm not from around here, I don't know what they need, how am I supposed to provide it?"

Iroh patted one of the chairs next to him, "Come sit down, young person. I will pour you some of this tea, go get my nephew, and put a sign that we will be closed today. Wait just a bit and I'll be back."

The other customer had departed, leaving her money on the table, so they were alone when the server grabbed his sleeve. "You can't be closed today, Iroh! Today's the day you get the King's invitation!" They slapped a hand over their mouth.

"Well, I think we have more things to talk about than I thought. You wait here." Iroh smiled and swept out.

Iroh, or Mushi, as he was known here, walked quickly back to his rooms, returning the greetings as he walked. The door slid closed, and he toed off his sandals. 

Zuko looked up, waving a hand at the other end of the table, where a plate and a cup of steaming tea waited for him. "You were gone when I woke up, but I saved you some breakfast." 

"Thank you, Zuko, let's finish quickly. I have a mystery I would like you to help me solve." Iroh dug into the breakfast and sipped the tea. Better, but Zuko had a long way to go. Still, improvement was happening.

Zuko looked at him suspiciously, "Do I need my sword? My mask?"

"Hmm. Bring them in your pack, but hidden. There's a new tea shop-"

"Uncle, if this is about scaring off the competition-"

"No, not really. Let me finish. There's a new tea shop, so I went in. The tea was technically perfect but had no soul. When I asked the server about it, they seemed very overwhelmed, so I said I would come get you, close for the day, and come back. They addressed me as 'Iroh' and said the invitation from the king was coming today."

"I'm bringing my sword. And my armor." Zuko hurried to get dressed, layering his mountain mail armor between his shirt and tunic. He kept the outer layers and his helm hidden in his pack, the shape would be too distinctive.

Iroh placed a sign on the shop door. "Family emergency, will return later."

Zuko was growing more tense, more battle ready, with each step. Someone was threatening their secret, his family. He didn't like serving tea, he certainly wasn't enjoying the peace, where the worst thing that could happen was an unsatisfying cup that Uncle would fix. But Uncle was happy. It had been nice to not feel the worry and the weight of expectations pressing down on him.

Iroh led them back to the mysterious shop. It was still empty when they arrived, the server sitting at the table he had left them at. Zuko locked the door, flipping the sign to "closed", and standing with crossed arms and a scowl on his face.

"How do you know my uncle's name, and why should we expect an invitation from the king today?" Zuko demanded.

The server looked up. Zuko couldn't distinguish their age or gender. "Is the door locked?" They asked, at Zuko's nod they stood, crossing over to the counter. "Well, in that case, I can make sure you won't be late coming back." They ducked down a little, flipping a catch on the counter before opening the top. Metal and light shine out of the recesses and they flip a switch. "Hold on to something or sit down. We're about to move."

Iroh and Zuko sat at one of the tables before the shop began to shake. A high pitched noise began, just on the edge of hearing, fading in and out. Zuko winced.

Suddenly, the noise and shaking stopped, and sunlight began to shine through the windows again. "We can talk now. We're in a different world, but I can bring you back to the moment after we left, whenever you like."

"Who are you, and what do you mean, 'a different world'?" Iroh asked calmly as Zuko put his hand to a hidden blade.

"I'm from a race of travelling shopkeepers. We run all sorts of shops, taverns, and in this case, a tea shop. I was assigned to this shop to provide tea and advice to young heroes and catalysts of their stories. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at either of those things. We're on a ninja world now, and I'm supposed to comfort a child with a much too heavy burden. Well, you'll see when I unlock the door. You can call me what you like, my name would be mostly unpronounceable." The server came to the door, unlocking it and throwing it open.

A child in an eye searing orange outfit skidded through the door, tumbling over their feet and stopping just before their table as Iroh reached out a hand. 

"I'm okay, nothing's broke, believe it!" Shouted the child from a few inches away.

Iroh winced, "I do believe it. Why don't you sit down here with my nephew and I while the server brings tea and perhaps a meal of some sort. I'll pay."

The blond boy turned bright blue eyes to his face, searching for something in his expression, "Really? You'll buy me some food? Do they serve ramen here? It's the best, believe it!"

Iroh smiled at the boy, "I will gladly buy you lunch, but I don't think they serve ramen here. I am Iroh and this is my nephew Zuko. We own a different tea shop in Earth country."

"Earth country? That's so far away, we're in Fire country now, in Leaf. I don't remember exactly where it is, teacher kicked me out of class pretty early that day. I'm Naruto! I'm going to be Hokage someday, believe it!" Naruto held up a fist in promise.

"I'm not sure what a Hokage is, we're not from around here, but I believe you will be the best at whatever you choose to be. Here, sit down with us, your tea and food are here." Iroh gestured at another chair that Naruto clambered up into. He was perhaps 7, maybe a little younger. Zuko looked uncomfortable, he was never all that good with small children. 

Naruto dug into his rice, hunched over it like a starving dog. He watched their hands as they drank their tea, making sure they couldn't take his food.

Zuko looked away, "Your table manners are terrible. Sit up, we're not going to take your food away. Use your chopsticks properly." He held out an unbroken pair.

Iroh took the chopsticks out of Zuko's hand, breaking them perfectly and showing how to use them briefly before handing them to Naruto.

"Old man Teuchi, he owns the ramen shop, says the same thing. He lets me pay him back later when I don't have enough money." Naruto finished and stared at his empty bowl. 

Iroh signaled for another and gently reached an arm toward Naruto. He flinched away and Iroh paused, "Is it okay if I hug you? The server is bringing another bowl whether you let me hug you or not. I'm just an old man, and my nephew doesn't let me hug him very often and you seem like you could use one."

"Nobody ever hugs me, Mr. Iroh." Naruto looked suspiciously at him, "I guess I'll allow it, but I'll kick you if you do anything weird."

Iroh gave a gentle smile and folded Naruto into a hug. He didn't say anything when the front of his shirt became damp with tears as he patted Naruto's back. "There, there, you're a good strong boy who's been alone too long." Naruto sniffled as he spoke, "It's okay, we can't stay here with you, we have to move on, but I believe in you, and I know you can succeed in whatever you put your mind to. Here, have a handkerchief, you can keep that. Look over there, your second bowl of rice is here. That's a good boy, go finish your lunch." Iroh wiped Naruto's face, drying the kerchief with a touch and tucking it in Naruto's pocket before letting go so he could sit in his seat.

Naruto gave a watery smile before finishing his lunch. He bowed and said, "Bye, uncle Iroh!", before running back out. The door swung shut behind him, the lock clicked and the sign flipped to 'closed'.

"You're actually quite good at this." The server said as the noise and shaking began again. 

Zuko looked at them suspiciously, "You never did give your name. Did you kidnap us so that uncle could do your job for you?"

"Kidnap is such a strong word. I'll bring you back to the moment you left, really. I just need a little help and your Uncle Iroh is the best. Oh, and my name is" what followed was a string of unpronounceable sounds.

Iroh and Zuko stared at them. "Yeah, no. There's no way I'm going to manage that. I'm calling you Zara." Zuko said. The newly named Zara shrugged in acquiescence.

They travelled across the multiverse, serving tea and advice to a host of lonely and damaged children. Each stop made Zuko more angry with the failure of adults and more sympathetic to what the Avatar must endure. He certainly didn't feel qualified for this and could understand how Zara felt overwhelmed.

"Hmm, Zuko, I think you may have to pick up this one." Zara said as the shop came to a stop. "There's three boys a little younger than you coming, they won't talk to adults."

"Shoving the work off to me, Zara? I already make the tea since you suck at it." Zuko teased back right before the door opened.

A giant suit of armor and a short kid in a red jacket carried another boy dressed in loose white pants and a flame edged coat. They set him carefully at a table and asked for as much mild food as they could make. Zara bustled into the kitchen to do whatever wizardry they managed there while Zuko wheeled over the tea cart. 

He held a cup of sweet, mild white tea to the boy's face, waiting for him to reach for the cup. He helped him drink it slowly as he opened his eyes. 

"A mild tea for someone recovering?" The boy asked, in the language of the fire kingdom. The boy in red looked bewildered.

"These other two found you passed out. We have stronger teas, if you like." Zuko replied in the same language. 

"Hey, why don't you two speak Amestrian?" The boy in red asked belligerently. Zuko waved a hand as he set out a new tea, ginseng. Part of the magic of the shop allowed the workers to understand and speak any language, but they weren't going to say that.

"Sorry," Zuko said in Amestrian, "I know a lot of languages, so I replied to him in his own. We were talking about tea, do you have a preference?"

The other boy crossed his arms, "Nothing with milk in it. Strong and hot. Do you have honey?" 

"Brother," chided the suit of armor, "you need to have milk in your diet." 

"I really don't, Al." He looked at Zuko and the other boy before introducing himself, "I'm Edward Elric and this is my younger brother Alphonse." He gestured at the giant suit of armor. 

Zuko raised a brow and looked at the other boy, who bowed, "I am Ling Yao, of Xing. I just arrived from crossing the great desert."

Zuko bowed to each in turn, "I am Zuko, from farther away than you have heard of. I am pleased to meet you. Ah, and here's Zara with your food, they're from far away too, and over in the corner is my uncle, Iroh. He makes the best tea." Uncle Iroh waved his pipe from the corner.

Zuko and Zara set out the dishes before Zara left and Zuko sat at the next table. They ate quickly, Edward and Ling Yao arguing about something called alchemy or maybe alkahestry.

"What can you tell us about alkahestry? I'm pretty interested." Ed leaned forward. A gust of wind blew the door open and Zuko eyed it suspiciously. 

"Oh, nothing. I'm not actually an alkahestrist." The other boys made sounds of surprise and disbelief as Ling continued, "I'm looking for something, maybe you've heard of it, the Philosopher's stone."

Ed turned away, "No, sorry, can't help you."

With a clang of metal, Zuko blocked the kunai from Ed's throat and the sword from reaching Al's arm. "No fighting in the shop." He said, holding the strangers back with his sword and knife. 

Ed and Al stepped away from the strangers, dropping into defensive positions. "Why would you want that?" Ed asked. 

"I'm searching for immortality." Ling replied

"That's not going to end well," Zuko said to them, "I've seen a lot of people searching for power in many ways. Immortality seems like it would be more of a curse than a prize. The endless loss of everyone you knew, the drag of years of knowlege that you can't apply. It would break the minds of men."

"Maybe so, but that's a risk I'm willing to take." Ling replied as the Elrics left at a run in different directions, the two strangers following. He watched them leave, "How about adding some dessert?"

Zuko watched as spears of earth rose in the distance, "Are they earth benders?" He asked himself as Zara brought Ling some pie. 

Iroh came up behind him, also watching the fights. "I don't think so, something close but different. Look at the lights." He placed a hand on Zuko's shoulder, "I think you did well, it's about time for us to get back."

"Thanks, Uncle."

Once Ling left, they locked the shop without worrying about the bill. They weren't in it for the money anyway. They watched through the windows as Ed and Al began to put the city back to rights with alchemy before everything faded to the ribboned blue of travel.

"Here you go, back home the moment after we left." Zara closed the counter and walked over. "These are for you, gifts in thanks for all your help." Zara handed Zuko his pack and each of them a bag of strange silky cloth before opening the door. 

They stepped out onto the street and the door clicked behind them. They turned, just as the shop faded away, leaving an empty alley. Zuko and Iroh walked to the Jasmine Dragon, lost in thought. 

They went about their day, falling back into the regular routine. As night fell, the courier from the Earth king arrived with their invitation to serve him tea. Iroh accepted gracefully.

At home, they were finally able to open the bags Zara had given them. In Iroh's was an assortment of rare teas, including the one he had mistaken the plant in the forest for. Zuko's contained a pair of throwing knives and a bound book by someone named "Shakespeare", translated into his language. He put it aside to read later.

"Goodnight, Uncle." Zuko said as he blew out the candle.

"Sleep well, Zuko." Iroh replied, as he stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come.


End file.
